The Alarm Clock Blues – m4w – 23 (OKC)

Have you ever woken to find the alarm going off and you have that feeling of mild panic that tells you its been going off for a while? That’s how my day started. So I jumped out of bed and launched myself into the shower before the water could warm up. Shocked into awareness by my the winter mix spewing forth from the shower head I gathered my resolve and began to shampoo and shave simultaneously.I completed this task without cutting myself, which is surprising because my lack of coordination leads me to believe that I am the opposite of ambidextrous. I fixed my hair and dressed in record time and was out the door less than fifteen minutes after waking.

Driving to work I wanted nothing more than a cup of coffee but I had to choose between that and picking up my dry cleaning. Since my lackadaisical habits regarding laundry had necessitated my leaving the house wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt showing a hand pressing an alarm clocks snooze button underneath the slogan “Keep the Dream Alive” (an unintentionally ironic choice), I decided that I’d better pick up my suits rather than try to explain how my current outfit was acceptable at my business-casual office.

Without getting a speeding ticket, I arrived at the Best Cleaners on NW Expressway and ran inside holding out my ticket and credit card and leaving the keys in the car. The woman behind the counter seemed to be moving in slow motion as she gathered my few articles and swiped my card. Outside, I located my car, a tan 2001 Toyota Camry (being such a rare car it’s always easy to spot in a parking lot). I got in and started to dress in my unofficial uniform which serves to tell the world that I have a boring office job, I might as well wear a cubicle, at least I can decorate that.

Then a funny thing happened, on the way there I was listening to my Rosetta Stone language learning cd (I’m trying to learn Polish before I go on vacation in February) but, when I started the car the radio was set to 104.1, now nothing against soft rock, but that station will never be one of my presets.

Ignoring the washed up crooner singing his own, overly stylized version of a classic Christmas carol, I raced to work to find an empty parking lot. Getting out of the car and looking around I had a terrible thought; “No!” I exclaimed into my vacant head; “I can’t be that stupid!”. I fished in my pocket for my iPhone, looked at the screen, and sure enough, Sunday, my day off.

Smiling and shaking my head at my own stupidity I consoled myself by thinking that at least I was up in time to get Macdonald’s for breakfast, nothing soothes away a stupid mistake quite like a sausage McGriddle. I get back in the car and immediately heard a noise that I couldn’t quite place but I knew I’d heard it before. Instinctively, I turned my head toward the noise in the back seat to find a baby(!) in a car seat(!). Investigating further there was a lot of stuff back there that I didn’t recognize. It was the same story in the glove box (minus the baby, it wouldn’t have fit in the glove box). I checked the licence plate and discovered that this wasn’t my car, oops. I must’ve taken the wrong one form the dry cleaners. What are the chances of someone else having a tan Toyota Camry? Right?

The solution seemed clear, I’d just go back to the dry cleaners where I’d find a very worried mom and explain what happened. The problem was, that when I got there, there was no worried mom to be found. And my car was gone.

If you drive a tan Camry and are missing a baby please send me a message so we can trade back. I can’t even take care of a goldfish (still a tender memory) so I think the baby would be better off with its mother, plus, I’m falling behind on my Polish.

P.S. I looked though your car in a vain attempt to find your identity and I found half a bag of Mint Milano cookies. Those are my favorite so I ate them, but I replaced them with some Girl Scout Thin Mints that I had in my freezer, I hope that’s okay.

P.P.S. I know that losing track of your child must be stressful and upsetting; therefore, I’d like to tell you a joke to lighten your mood.

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
“The bus driver insulted me,” she fumed.
The man sympathized and said …
“Why, he shouldn’t say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!”
“That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey.”

• Location: OKC
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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~ by whyicraigslist on December 20, 2009.